links updated: November 2000

[Varian's Special Page Dedicated to the Joy & Wonder of Buttermilk Dreamin']

[got buttermilk?]

Buttermilk Now!
[Where Buttermilk
Comes From
Buttermilk Now!
Buttermilk Now!

Cool Buttermilk Stuff

Arden Churned Buttermilk carton

Drink more of our buttermilk for that flavor treat!
[a product promotion design- thanks, Bill!]

Meadow Gold Buttermilk carton




Holstein dairy cow

Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, "Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff" --?
(overheard on Seinfeld)



[The Magical Production of Buttermilk]

butterchurn iconWhole milk is produced in the mammary glands of lactating mammals. Throughout history, mankind has learned to cultivate milk and to discover a great many uses for it, mainly consumption. Here in the United States, we are most accustomed to cows' milk. In other countries however, it would not be unusual to find an array of milk items derived from buffalo, reindeer, goats, llamas, camels or sheep.

butterchurn iconMilk is composed of a combination of several elements. Besides water (up to 90%), lactose (milk sugar) is the main element, in which globules of butterfat swim, surrounded by various percentages of proteins (mainly casein) and salts (calcium, phosphorus, chlorine, sodium, potassium and sulfur). Due to its lighter gravity, the butterfat tends to separate itself from the surrounding components. Homogenized milk, which is most familiar to the American family, is formed by forcing the butterfat globules through a kind of strainer mechanism, reducing the globule parts to such a small size that they no longer automatically separate themselves from the remainder of the milk composition. The percentage of butterfat is required to be from 2.5 to 3.5 by the U.S. Public Health Service codes.

butterchurn iconWhole milk can also undergo a variety of other procedures to reach states such as: whey, cheese, butter, ice cream or yogurt. It can be evaporated, condensed or powdered.  Additionally, milk or milk by-products are used in the production of inedible materials such as glue, paint, textiles and plastics.

butterchurn iconIf fresh milk is allowed to stand, the lighter-weight butterfat globules rise to the top, forming what we know as cream. When milk is processed for consumption, this separation of the butterfat globules is quickened by centrifuging. After removing the cream, what remains is known as skim milk. When chilled cream is gently churned, the butterfat globules begin to gather together in ever-larger clumps. Persist in this process long enough and those "clumps" become recognizeable as butter.

butterchurn iconBetween the stages of cream and butter is a very delicious, exotic and beneficial product known as buttermilk.



[Histerical Buttermilk Quotations]

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning for buttermilk.
--Emma Lazarus

A feast is made for laughter,
and buttermilk maketh merry.
--Ecclesiastes 10:19

I disapprove of what you say,
but I will defend to the death
your right to buttermilk.
--Voltaire (attributed)

O Captain! my Captain!
the buttermilk is gone!
--Walt Whitman

Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the buttermilk of Paradise.
--Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Buttermilk alone with
sudden charms can bind
The wand'ring sense,
and calm the troubled mind.
--William Congreve

For when the wine is in, the wit is out,
But buttermilk maintains the reason.
--Thomas Becon

Let them drink buttermilk.
--Marie Antoinette


[Link Up to Buttermilk!]

Moo!Buttermilk...gotta love it...:) Have you made oysters with buttermilk yet?
Moo!So's the grave of Buttermilk.
Moo!Here's one for your songbook: Old Buttermilk Sky.
Moo!Buttermilk can keep you free of sin!
Moo!It's time to boycott Christmas -- Santa doesn't drink buttermilk??
Moo! How about some buttermilk pie?
Moo!Buttermilk can be enjoyed in any language!
Moo!Have you tried growing a buttermilk plant?
Moo!Now, here's a site that can really Moove me....;)
Moo! W.C.Fields is quoted as saying, "Of course, now I touch nothing stronger than buttermilk. 90 proof buttermilk."
Moo!As a kid, I would "drink" buttermilk with a spoon. It was thick, creamy and flaked full of little yellow surprises. Is a "butterflake substitute" really what consumers want?
Moo!Glenn's friend Frank got close-up to Buttermilk for these images!
Moo!You can laugh with it, c'mon! Download this great "I'm gonna keep drinking my buttermilk" WAV!...;D
Moo!If you live in the northeast, try out some real churn buttermilk from Egg Farm Dairy.
Moo!According to this recipe, you can make a quart of buttermilk by starting with a half-cup!

Moo!Don'tcha wish you had a tall, cool glass of it right now?
Moo!Lee Edwards Benning will tell you it's all Better With Buttermilk.
Moo!Tales from Slovakia include memories of making buttermilk.
Moo!You know you want some.
Moo!The best way to eat champ is with a cold glass of buttermilk handy!
Moo!Here's the lowdown on all this UNcultured "cultured" stuff.
[spacer] Moo!At the House of Webster, you can get your own stoneware churn and drink "a big glass of cold, refreshing buttermilk" you make yourself!
Moo!Decorate your kitchen with buttermilk furniture!
Moo!Be warned. The Buttermilk Gang is on the loose and on the web!
Moo!Take a bath in buttermilk! And don't forget to wash up with your buttermilk soap!
Moo!The United Arab Emirates know the joy of buttermilk.

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Varian's Dreamweavn'n: DreamFeast - Buttermilk Dreamin'
is a portion of Varian's Dreamcatcher
and is ©2004 Varian
including all text, graphics, etc.,
except where noted otherwise.
Brand names pictured or mentioned
are registered trademarks
or trademarks of their respective holders
and are hereby acknowledged
and used here for informational
or entertainment purposes only.
Items in "Histerical Buttermilk Quotations" are fictionalized
and any resemblance to actual statements
made by any person, living or dead,
is really pretty funny if you think about it.

Cluttering up the WorldWide Web since October 1995.

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